As I am just hours away of living my what I consider my home town Colorado and going back to the state I was born. Texas!
All streams run to the sea, but the sea is not full; to the place where the streams flow, there is flows things. Ecclesiastes 1:7
So powerful right now. I sit in this hostel counting seconds that I leave. I have to say this is the first time that I have stayed awake thinking about my future on this decision I am making without the use of drugs.
This for me is deep. As I am saddened with the results of me leaving I am grateful. Spending the last week in hotels spending money people helping me with food and money. Still drinking almost getting back into the back sliding of everything not just drinking. Reminds of a Proverb that says stay away from backsliders for they are fools.
That’s part of the transformation of the way we think. I remembered that Proverb and made every thought about how I was not backsliding. Then because of my faith I have to remember all things come from GOD.
Really was I a back slider or did it come from GOD. Reminded of a passage in Romans. Because you have faith does it make you right for doing what your doing! By no means!
Again as I sit and ponder my new adventure. Moving to were I was born I’m thankful for drinking that night and GOD saying you need to leave Colorado. With in minutes I was online on my phone buying a plane ticket. With something like 200 in my account bought the ticket for $79.
Then I thought wait where am I going to stay? Was just hours away of having to leave the hotel I was at going to the hostel that I’m at now. I can’t take the 3 25 gallon tubes full of pictures and paperwork. Then all the food. Texas is hot I don’t have clothes for Colorado let alone Texas.
Then the thought said to me have you not done this before. Yes I answer myself. I have more now then I had then. So why am I letting these questions of doubt enter my mind.
Now as I sit here thinking of not really knowing anyone in Texas. I know one person there. However they have there own thing going and I know that there is opportunity there. As scary as it is. I have $256 in my account praying there isn’t a carry on fee at the airline.
I just got a notice on my phone that someone tried to use my card at a hotel and that they may have to cancel my card. It certainly wasn’t me. So I’m thinking I’ll take care of it tomorrow morning as the text came through that they would be calling me.
End result my card it canceled I’m leaving literally in approximately 2 hours for the airport. Thank God I have bus tickets to get there. What about getting from the airport in Texas to the hotel I’m staying at as I am pleading with the operator to not turn it off.
I understand these people are powerful for I have been dealing with them for almost a year. To the eye of the person who thinks they are wise would judge these people by their appearance and what they wear. Sadly the whole reason we shouldn’t judge anyone! Rings true to the saying don’t judge a book by its cover.
Stress I have been taught to be a women of Faith. So the voice says why stress. It’s going to be ok. Then I say now I have to walk to the light rail station instead of taking a lyft when it’s really only 2 minutes by car. I am fearful of these people. It’s dark and yeah! So, the voice says where is your faith? Isn’t faith greater than fear! As I sit her and shake I know in my heart I say yes.
I know I am protected. One of my gifts that GOD gave me was the gift of hearing what people think. I heard last night your not leaving here alive.
Some may call me crazy and don’t know what I am talking about. And dear not boast about the gift. It’s real.
As of right this moment continue on with your head held high. Do not fear for I am with you.
Stay blessed my friends