Still alone f money
Knowing GOD like never before my first contact with him was in 2014 When I say first contact I can say I felt him like never before and that’s when my journey began.
Journey I mean Spiritual Journey. The Spiritual Journey is real. First leap of faith in 2013 after quitting my Job of 7 1/2 years to go for my dream. Starting my own business Spiritual Warfare well actually it’s GODs business. However he was using me and teaching me. What I didn’t know about the business is I couldn’t build a business not being the person GOD was making me to be.
With that said that’s when my Spiritual Journey began.
After not listening GOD made me homeless. He was like you want things for free and want to not be grateful for things that you have. You want to continually not listening then here you go. And he made it super hard for me. If you haven’t read the previous blog about that story I invite you to do so.
Moving forward he made me homeless. When I showed up at the Samaritan house in which was a homeless shelter I had no idea what was going to happen. All I knew is this is were GOD put me. I didn’t realize the true reason until later. All those things listed above however at first that was not in my head.
The people there almost all of them were talking to themselves. When I saw this I was shocked and I didn’t know what to think. For I too just like months before I ended up there I started doing the same thing. And again I didn’t realize what all this meant until way later.
The first day I was there I stood in line and waited for dinner. I can’t say that I was scared because I wasn’t. The long journey and things that took place helped me get over the fear of where I was by the time I got there.
I didn’t talk to anyone for like the first couple days. I got up was learning the routine and then I would leave the shelter and walk to the library. It was quite the walk. I walked everywhere. There was this girl that kept staring at me. And she looked familiar I just could not place who she was. The second day when I came back from the library and was getting in line to get a bed she was staring at me and she had shorts on. I remembered her leg. She had been in an ATV accident and it what been damaged real bad.
So when I saw that I walked over and introduced myself and talked to her. Needless to say we did know each other. It was her 3rd day out there and my 2nd day for me. We knew each other from like 5 to 7 years before. We became best friends. We never left each other. Except she really did not care for the library. Plus later on down the road she got band from there for having sex in one of the private study rooms.
So that was another sign that I was where I was suppose to be. My faith continued, and so did his teaching with changing the way I was thinking.
I could not believe how most of these people could be laughing and being happy in the situation they were in. It wasn’t pleasant. I started thinking but I truly was a miserable person when I had way more. So this situation got me thinking and displaying gratitude. The most important lesson I learned from being homeless. How could I act negatively seeing these human beings being so happy. I couldn’t.
Then Jen and I started talking and hanging out with other people. As our community as I ended up naming us grew we slept outside. Yup outside on the sidewalk. The only thing bad about this situation and hanging out with them is I drank a lot. I never drank hard alcohol before I didn’t like it and then I started drinking a lot of alcohol. Hard liquor. So then it was back to drinking all the time even in the morning. I think I can say that was when I was a true alcoholic.
GOD made me that way. He did so that I would learn his power. When I woke up on the sidewalk I think 6 months in that’s when I said I had enough. I remember sitting up one morning and said that’s it if I don’t stop I’m going to end up stuck out here. And I quit.
During this time I was still attending morning meetings with the Marketing company I was with. They were my biggest supporters while being homeless. Even tho they weren’t present there was a reason for that. And for whatever reason I accepted that. At one point there was someone who rented an apartment in the high rise. I would get up every morning at 3 am and I’d see the same car go by. Then at 6:30am or maybe a little bit before the light in this high rise would be on and this paper stick with a face would wave at me.
Yeah it was weird however….. I just knew someone was there. I knew that someone cared about me. And I knew some day we would meet and be together. That’s a whole movie and a book.
These were signs from GOD to keep being positive, keep getting closer to him and if I wanted to truly leave there then I needed to stop drinking. And at that point I had.
Our community was average size. We all would say we lived in the biggest mansion on the block. The sun always shined on us. At times we were the only one that got sun.
That was GOD.
My story of being homeless is long. For right now I would like you as the reader think about what’s going on in your life. The chaos the arguing cussing fighting all of those things and really think about the the thoughts GOD is putting in your head about change. If you hear a voice it’s GOD.
Keep your faith even if you don’t listen yes there however things gets 100% better when you do listen. Believe me I’m living proof. The story will continue.
Keep your faith.
Much love as always My Friends.
Back in 2913, my life was a disaster. Not only was my life however my little Linda who was my second daughter was going through a lot to because of her mom being a drunk.
Actually I take that back because I was not always drunk. Drinking a lot none the less. I was in an abusive relationship and yeah it was really bad for both of us. GOD was there the whole time accept I wasn’t. However thank GOD he was.
It was at the end of the relationship with this guy that I actually New for 20 years. The reason we met again was so I could show him how to love again. And for me GOD was telling me that there are men out that had things and you are worthy. None the less it didn’t work out and that’s fine because life got harder and at the same time so much better.
I ended up giving my car to a lady I New that needed it, taking Linda and the bare necessities and went on the road with some people that my friend knew. Now not the brightest idea however again worse got better.
We went on the road and ended up in another part of the state. And yes I was drinking the whole time. Getting more than half way across the state I had to call my dad. There was no ands or buts about it. I could not go any further with Linda let alone in another state. So dad was 7 hours away. We waited for him.
I could not wait to see him. More so I could not wait to give Linda to him temporary til I could get my stuff right. Drinking, my thought of killing my self a house a job I mean everything just went down the tub every quickly.
To make a long story short dad was not happy to see me like I was him. He took me to the hospital and took Linda to his house. That was 5/26/2015.
He put me in a a facility that you could not have razors the doors were locked no belt and yeah. No! You know when I was in my addiction I was always right.
So as soon as he left I checked my self out. They provided a cab fir me to go to where I wanted to go. I thought that my kids GODs parents would let me in. Got there and nope burned that bridge. At that point I had nowhere to go. I walked up this very lonely street.
What am I going to do. No phone and on my own. All I had with me was some clothes, a book called Jesus eyes a little bit of make up and a tablet. That’s it. I got to the Macdonald up the street. I asked my kids God parents to call my aunt who was meeting me up the street.
No aunt, no aunt at this point it was dark. There was a guy sitting in a truck with loud music. I got up and went and asked if he could call me aunt. He said yes and invited me to sit in the truck. I said sure. So I did and he was smoking Meth. So what do I do? Yup you guessed it why should I stay sober. He let me out of the car and when my aunt got there he gave me some and my aunt and I went and say in Macdonald’s.
She took me to a hotel where my grans got me 2 nights. Now I had an so many people reaching out to me. I too was reaching out. However it wasn’t my time. When you see an opportunity to do something and you don’t do it it’s not necessarily you. It’s GOD saying nope it’s not your time. As harsh as that sounds it’s true. I had already took one real leap of faith.
He was just teaching me more. To say the least the 2 days were up and again no place to go. Btw I ended up flushing that stuff down the toilet because the cops were banging on the neighbors door and I got real scared. Thank GOD.
My aunt and I went and got my stuff from my dad and I ended up giving everything to a lady down the way when I left the hotel. Believe me she got clothes she probably had before.
I took with me my journal, my book called fixing my eyes on Jesus and went walking. The Lord said walk as far as you can and when you feel scared remember a verse from the Bible I am with you. I though ok. So there I went walking down the longest street in Colorado in a not so good area.
To make a long story short I walked and walked and when I got scared I either pulled out the book and read it or I thought of a verse. He never left me. I ended up in the hospital for a spider bite that night. I walked up to a church and this fine couple gave me a ride and gave me $20 fir food. I was super skinny. During the stay they treated me. Then said at 2 am you gotta go. I told them I had no where to go.
Oh wait let me back up. They had me on a heart monitor and I was laying there in the bed and I felt this heaviness on my chest as I’m praying to GOD just take me. What am I going to do. That heart monitor went off and the weight on my chest was very heavy.
I hear the nurses in the front say you go check her no you go she’s homeless. They were arguing to see who was going to help with the monitor going off and the weight on my chest was getting harder. Finally someone walks in and the weight went away. They said your fine you can leave. I told them that judging was a sin. In fact I yelled it. I gathered my things and left. Now down the other longest street at 2am with no where to go.
I walked to a 7-11 bought a pack of cigs and water and went down an alley where there were these people who were homeless and took me in. They allowed me to sleep on this old dirty couch and directed me in the morning where to go. They gave me a backpack where I put my things and in the morning started walking.
The story goes on and on to where I actually ended up in the area that I drove by for years never knew what it was. I just knew I never wanted to stop at a light because I was scared.
You guys when we are going through a lot and believe me it was a lot. GOD is always there. It’s about when will you say I’ve had enough.
And I hadn’t had enough. Homelessness drinking more than I ever had before still trying to do Spiritual Warfare while being homeless sleeping on a sidewalk. I always knew I was protected because he told me. Believe me he protected me out there and it was because of FAITH.
The question became every morning what’s next GOD?
Much love my friends trust him. He’s there. 💜💜💜
I remember at the beginning of the Lord showing me how to trust him. I was fairly new to the homeless life. This was in 2015. I guess it was half way into being homeless because at this point I woke up on the sidewalk for the last time in 7 weeks.
Anyways my friend and I were walking and we were talking and I heard Melissa I want you to fast. As he had been so good to me during this time I was homeless I said ok.
For anyone who doesn’t know the homeless life. It’s a bit rough. On the weekends was the best because people came around and fed you real hot food on Saturdays. Like all day long. Never missed a Saturday.
So obviously this was a Friday. I was doing real good. I stopped drinking all together and got involved at Jesus saves with Volunteering. Morning noon and night I was cleaning and serving. Then I had a thought shoot what am I going to do out here with no job money and limited good food. I already knew the people on the street however I didn’t know the people on the inside. The result was the volunteering. It worked great.
So on that Friday that I heard GOD tell me I want you to fast I was ok with that not realizing that the next day was Saturday til the end of the day. So later that night I remember the next day was Saturday. I called my friend and said Jimmy I told the Lord that I would fast and tomorrow Is Saturday. He said to me you can’t go back on your word. I said your right. Uggggg! No good good for me.
My friends the following day being Saturday my community and I were sitting were we always sat. From Morning til 4 pm. Nothing like I saw before in the months I had been out there. Was out there in total 3 days short of a year.
Anyways, the people (that’s what we called them) came around with fresh baked cookies, candy so much hot food I can’t tell you and you know what else. Fresh banana bread and cups of milk. I was like you have to be kidding me. So being the only one in my community who wasn’t drinking I was the only one fasting.
Oh the temptation. I wanted so bad to eat all those fresh things that were coming around not just the fresh food it was hot. I stuck with it. I didn’t eat not one thing. The things I could out into a paper lunch bag I did and saved it for the following day. Th moral of that story was I trusted him again. He was showing me how much control he has over people.
Don’t think for one minute he doesn’t because this isn’t the only testimony that I have of him doing this to me. Other ways did he teach.
However this time he was also testing me. He had all of those people come with all that good stuff just to see if I would be faithful to him.
That’s the way he works and YES SUCCESS! I did it.
If you are struggling with something fast show your faithfulness and love for him. And see what happens.
For me he brought the right people in my life to get me off the street. Another Success because that life is hard.
Happy Father days GOD. I love you with all my heart and Soul, and I thank you for this time in my life.
Much love my friends as always. 💜💜💜💜😇
There is power in change. However changing your attitude can be a bit difficult. Number one you have to want it. You have to say enough is enough and want the change. I truly believe that when you start or led to something that you can’t do or something completely different than what you are normally doing. That’s when people start coming into your life that you didn’t even know exists.
It’s like where in the world did these people come from? What?!? they don’t judge, they are constantly there for you. Even when you think they aren’t they are.
It’s like GOD is with you all the time in which he truly is. However, these people they talk truth just like GOD, they encourage just like GOD. They love unconditionally just like GOD.
See in our life time which could be so short. Right, I mean we don’t know when that time will come. Right. So when we are led to something better than what we are are doing. Then my friends that’s when we want to embrace the change of Attitude. We want to know they got what we now want right?
The dream that they are telling in which is there life. How did they get that stuff. Cars, houses, an abundance of money. Living a life of not only freedom however freedom on the inside in which is the most important to their success.
Think about it, they didn’t get to live their dreams because they were swearing, putting others down instead of lifting them up. They weren’t in the mindset that we know to have.
This is why we don’t understand how. It just isn’t sitting in why your not succeeding.You don’t get it.
You always hear the story first of whoever is talking right. It’s their own testimony to tell you how they got to where they are now. They say I was a broke magician, I lived in the Bronx, I was homeless and living in my van.
The point being is they had to work just has hard as you are going to have to work to change your thinking to be like theirs.
How do you do that? Here are some ways that you can do that. I really don’t know how many are going to come out I’m just going to write.
First let me tell you a little bit about GOD and churches. If you go to church or listen to Church they are always encouraging right. They say the names in the Bible and their stories right? Well those are great to hear now you know how much Love GOD has for you and me right? That’s awesome. They say your blessing is coming. Look what happened to JOB, or David and so forth and so on.
Well how do you think those people got there blessings. They got them from change. Change in their thinking. They didn’t get anything for free, and quite honestly most of them found their purpose.
Just a little bit about me I’m not a minister, Priest or pastor. The words that are flowing right now is from GOD and what he taught me these things through my Spiritual Journey. Which has been 5 years 5 months and 14 days today.
So in the above chapter when I said most it’s because I only know about a few people in the Bible. I have not read the Bible cover to cover. Now that we got that out of the way I’m going to break down what I do know.
Job got victory by all the years he had faith, he was led to change is attitude to later be abundant and successful in life. He went and saw things that most people don’t see in their lifetime, yet what did he do he thanked GOD for all that happened to him. He kept a good positive attitude. And later is fully blessed to the amount that only 1% of the population ever can imagine. And he found his purpose by changing his attitude.
Kind David who wrote a couple book, poor King David he was so confused about life that he searched for the real meaning and ended up being the wisest man in the world.
So how did they do this? Just like the leaders in what your doing they changed their thinking. They ultimately found their purpose. That’s why they are so blessed. So it’s great when your pastor or church is telling you about GODS love. That way now you can lean on GOD or the Universe or whatever it is for you so that you may learn to change your attitude. Most people don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, when you have to start looking at yourself it’s hard to change the things that are pointed out to you. You constantly want to live in the past. Or live in blaming and guilt and all the other negative human emotions that you are taught.
With this said there is nothing wrong with you because you don’t know any different. However you want it. Your heart is calling you in another direction and you know that that direction is your destiny and the reward from GOD of honoring that blessing you are so craving.
Ways you can start changing your attitude.
One. You must start a gratitude list. You must write them down everyday. A heart of Gratitude changes your attitude. A pure heart that wants change is grateful for everything they have. If you feel like you don’t have anything….. well think again your breathing. Trust me for some being grateful will be hard.
Remember the heart that really wants change you will go that extra mile to change. So if you have to live second to second thinking about why your grateful than fine do it. I promise that second will eventually turn into minutes and then to days. As you grow so does your attitude. Life doesn’t seem so bad after all. Your smiling. Just sit as you read this your smiling.
Just a quick story I went so long without smiling we are talking years without smiling. Just plain miserable. I didn’t know how to be happy. So when I started to smile more I had to relearn how to smile. I didn’t smile for so long that I had forgotten how to do it, so when I started doing it, it was uncomfortable. It felt great however it was uncomfortable. That’s change. That’s the feeling your craving.
Secondly, recognize the beauty of the outdoors. Go and look at a tree and see it, see all the rain it got, the animals that climbed on it. Really pay attention to the roots and how far they go down In the ground. How the bark looks. You will ask yourself what does each line mean on this tree? Just like you the tree has so many stories. See the beauty of the sky. The forms of the clouds, the sunsets and the sunrise. There is beauty outside your own thinking. Feeding your brain with the beauty of the outdoors is important to changing your way of thinking.
Thirdly, you are the most beautiful person on this planet. You are more powerful than anyone you know. You are worth everything that you want in this lifetime. You are amazing and don’t let anyone tell you differently. Feel it! Know it! You are worth the change.
You have to do it. No one accept GOD or the Universe can do it for you. They will put people in your life to help you on this earth. The Spiritual Realm will do his part as you grown.
The key is never ever give up. Don’t ever ever give up. No matter how hard things get. I promise you that they will get hard. However if you keep going and change! You have to want the change. I can’t say that enough. The power that is in you is in the universe, and he will help you change. So that you may have freedom of self to have great success. You can have everything you are craving. Just be still and listen and then take action.
With this said I love you, I love the world, know that GOD loves you even more. You can do it.
Much love as always,
The only thing that can keep you stuck is you. It is you that is being a slave to your thoughts. So how is it that you change that?
There are simple ways you can change this. However the number one solution is showing up. Showing clear minded so that you are able to pay attention to what is being said.
You must go with your gut feeling which is community sting with your heart than your heart is communicating with your brain and that’s when you know you must take action.
What do I mean by taking action. It’s taking action of your thoughts. What are thinking or saying to yourself.
In which makes you not want to take action. My friends it’s hard to take control of those thoughts. It’s was we are programmed to do or say to ourself.
How do you get rid the thoughts of being stuck?
1. Meditation daily to calm your brain. There is nothing more powerful than to lay down and just be still. To feel your whole body just relax. This is important to calmness of mind. It ultimately brings you peace of mind so you can learn how to control your thoughts.
2. Through the day when your thoughts seem to be taking over the action you want to to do however you feel you can’t. Pray. GOD please calm my mind. Father please lead and direct my thoughts to be of you and only you. In Jesus name amen. You may not feel a change right away and you may. It depends on your relationship that you have in something higher than self. Take the time to recognize what you are feeling after prayer. You have to truly want this in your heart.
3. Show up anyways. No matter what your thought are take action anyway. Rather it be a short blog, a 10 second video, or a couple of post on Facebook or whatever social media platform you are using. Just do it.
4. Learn to listen to your heart. Over time you will know that your heart is telling you something more than what your brain is saying and just go for it. Trust your heart because it is your higher power leading you.
With all this said it isn’t the company your joining that is the problem. Join one company and stay with them. When you jump from company to company it’s like promoting to everyone. For every company you join will have some kind of different audience.
Be strong know that your bigger than your thought. Your worth what you are trying to achieve. Remember the success of overcoming your thoughts ya way better than the money you can make.
Much love my friends.
Yesterday was a good day. No drinking personal time it’s GOD to write the contents of my book. Last night was hard. However feel like I accomplished it. I didn’t go drink.
Today I am grateful for having the chance to write the table if contents. I think about my book a lot. Sometimes…. the book and Spiritual Warfare consume my mind. Where because I can’t do it I constantly think about how? How am I really going to do this.
So yesterday is was a great accomplishment to be able to write the table of contents. It may need some work however that’s ok. When it goes to the publisher then things can be adjusted.
The goal is to write one chapter a day. And ultimately it is about Spiritual Warfare. How did it cone about and what lead to the end to an old life beginning a new.
There are things in ones life that will keep a person stuck, for me it’s drinking. Knowing and realize zing the full effect of the brain and what it does I mean think about it. If we know these things why do it right? Well that’s the Spiritual Warfare part of this life. And if you are chosen it’s even harder.
I believe the reason why people here don’t like me is because of my connection with GOD and still have a problem.
Well, I’ll tell you too can have that relationship with him just like the one I have. How? You don’t worry and there are things that you need to change. Again the relationship is based on faith. Tho some of you say without works faith is dead and yes that’s true. However there are different perceptions of that verse. If you had the faith that I have then you would know that keeping the same mind of GOD is difficult.
Not gossiping, loving one another all the time, not judging a person, anger, jealousy whatever the behavior that you are showing. I don’t know what it is. So things are hard not todo because we live in a world that does nothing but that.
With that said that’s the faith that I work on daily. The drinking as stopped and will stop. However I am a human being. I will struggle just like every other Alcoholic.
Have a great day. Put good energy out there and just try to notice a behavior that you may be displaying that is keeping you stuck in your marriage or a lot of drama at work or problems with your kids… whatever it is think what it is that your doing. I will pray that those character defects will come to your attention this day.
Listen and pay attention GOD will show you.
I ask that you pray for me as I get off of work at 5 that the spiritual realm doesn’t say to me you can just have one beer because I can’t.
Stay blessed. Always much love.